have a problem with sitting still. i always have. my nerves get the best of me. i’ll pace. try to over-help. clean. compulsively move things around. ramble. i feel like i always need action.
the solstice was just over a week ago. i have been on my journey for three months. i found a sense of peace, belonging, and wellbeing here in Taos that has me pausing to say:
is this the place for me?
it’s a difficult town that is constantly forcing you to face all your demons. to be both proactive and flexible. a passive action. and if the mountain wants you, it gets you. if it doesn’t you’re spit out. and i’ve seen it spit people out. and every morning i wake up, honored it hasn’t done the same to me.
three weeks ago i found myself at the Herbalist across town’s house. she has 5 acres of overgrown land by a gorgeous river. it was exactly what i came here for. western astrology knowledge. herbal knowledge. i’m learning how to make formulas, tinctures, salves, oils, lip balms. and i’m gardening. clearing the land. because there has been more rain this year than anyone can remember- and these are desert weeds(plants)- so they are beyond thriving.
“you have great intuition, you just don’t listen to it”
nothing is more true. except my inability to sit still.
i feel i am in a time of reflection, but my mind tells me its time for action. i almost feel guilty for three months of pure existence. its not that i haven’t done anything, in fact it is the opposite. it’s just all been inward. reflective action.
a lovely lady passed through and read my tarot cards by the river. the second time anyone has done this for me. and for what is going on in the present, i received the dreamer. in the card a native american woman was sitting by the river, looking into it. reflecting. i was doing exactly what i was suppose to. for a week i felt reassured.
then on tuesday night Jupiter had a minor negative aspect to chiron, causing a questioning of our goals, beliefs, and faith. it makes you feel lost, and doubt your plans. or to push something ahead that shouldn’t be. that and the moon was moving towards capricorn, a very practical, and goal oriented sign. capricorn wants rules, structure, and achievement.
i found myself slipping into action mode again, and feeling lost. much like my time with mercury in retrograde.
but then i checked in with one of my favorite astrology blogs and was reassured.
now is not the time.
and there goes me not listening to my great intuition again.
so stay flexible. keep on riding this out. we are all changing, hopefully for the better. and the time for action is soon, so enjoy this breath while you can.